by Mark Tedesco
Reviewed by Eileen Quinn Knight, Ph.D.
Mark Tedesco has written prolifically in the past couple of years. This book deepens his past thoughts. Beginning with beliefs and ending with lessons learned, Mark latest journey takes the reader on a quest for healthy love. Sometimes a roller coaster and other times a gentle ride, this work speaks to every person man and woman who has ever sought out another as the object of affection. Though the author writes from the perspective of a gay man, the insights gained are universal. Lessons and Beliefs: Learning to Love is self-help, relationship analysis and memoir. The book gives a riveting account of healthy and unhealthy love, interdependence, and codependency. The reader eventually discovers the fundamental foundations of an authentic, healthy and lasting relationship.
The author’ relationships and life events contain lessons that he was sometimes attentive to but other times suppressed until he was willing to listen. Becoming a student of life means becoming aware of the meanings behind things, and it would take many lessons for him to realize this. Wisdom is the product of experiences that have been reflected on, and with this wisdom, life can become fulfilling and joyful even when facing challenges.
At the end of this journey, he is grateful for the joys and pains of searching for love in others because it eventually led back to me. He hopes others might benefit from his experiences. He is on the brink of a new relationship now, but it is different from the ones that came before. No longer is it driven by need or dependence or an emotional high. Instead it is born from that certainty that we are as lovable to ourselves as we are to each other. The source of our bond is not that one person is the destiny of the other, but that we journey toward our destiny beyond ourselves, together.
In his conclusion he states: “I realized at that moment that the love that I had always sought, over and over again, in relationship after relationship, was already here.It was not only those around me; it was already within myself.” The author’s works are beginning to have a life of their own and he will have a group of followers who will wait anxiously for his next book.