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An Interview with Sandra Wagner


Dr. Knight:  Would you please share with us your early Catholic formation.

 

Sandra: I grew up in a catholic country. All faith related traditions were passed to me by my parents, grandparents and close family. I was baptized at the clinic a few days after being born. My pre-school years were a bit different as my parents sent me to a German school. After these early years I was moved to a catholic school where I did my primary and secondary years (Sacred Heart schools) in Colombia. I went to an all girls school that at the time was managed by the religious of The Sacred Heart. They had a French philosophy of education which encouraged an education from the heart and the mind with a strong emphasis on values such as: empathy for others, social responsibility, teamwork, respect for others, friendship and collaboration. We were encouraged to be true to our believes and from early years we were taught about the bible and how to interpret the different messages.

 

Dr. Knight:  Please tell us the significance of your being a mother. About your husband being part of this parental covenant.

 

Sandra: To me being a mother has been a beautiful journey. It has been the meaning of my life. God has giving me the opportunity to raise two wonderful kids to give back to the world. Being a mother has been a major responsibility and a sacrifice in a way. Where they come first. My husband has been a very present Dad to our kids. He has been a raw model and a mentor and supported me when I had to travel for work. We have allowed open communication with our kids.


Dr. Knight: Like many of the woman in society you are a business woman. How did you make that decision? How did this decision affect your parental covenant?

 

Sandra: This was a very difficult decision. At the time, I had a better career opportunity than my husband did (he had worked already for 20+ years). We decided that it was important for us to be close to the kids and not to put them in hands of a nanny or a daycare institution. We decided to compromise our financial wellbeing to spend quality time with them during their most important years of life. We were not wealthy, but always had a home, food and enjoyed travelling together. We had always enough to live a comfortable life. Since I was not going to be present for the kids every day. I looked for external support. My mother was crucial in this process as she spent many months with us when they were little. She was like the second mom at home. When the school decisions came, we decided to send them to the same school I went to in Colombia. They attended Sacred Heart/ Hardey Prep in Chicago. I choose this place because I wanted to nurture them and provide a value based education for the heart and mind. I wanted for them to be surrounded by principles. The first years of education are forming years and the most important ones to create solid basis.

 

I had many sad days and days of regret specially when they were little. I had to travel internationally or attend long days at work, I missed them dearly, but knew my husband and mom were taking care of them. My mission was very important as well as a provider to the family.

 

Over the years, I realized they appreciated their working mom. They appreciated my involvement in academic and intellectual activities.

 

Being a working mom requires a lot of stamina, support, encouragement, love, patience and energy to wear many hats at the same time. It is a multitasking activity, but at the end a rewarding one. Now that I see my kids in college, I can take a breath and say. I did it all for them and continue to do so.

 

Dr. Knight: You were called by God to be a mother of 2 children. What is the significance of your call to be a mother in this society Did it change as your children matured?

 

Sandra : God blessed me with two loving, healthy and wonderful children. I always felt that my call as a mother was to educate my kids to be happy in their lives and to bring good values and love to this broken world. I always tried to give a good example they could remember and imitate. My kids are college students now so, at this point in time I became a companion and an advisor to support their decisions in life.

 

Dr. Knight: You spent early years finding out your abilities and gifts through discernment.  How was your discernment to motherhood helpful to you personally?’

 

Sandra: My example of motherhood comes from my mother and grandmothers. They were fantastic women. Each one with their own set of qualities. My mother was always an inspiration of love, courage, commitment, support, patience. I wanted to pass those values to my own family. I always knew I wanted children in my life.

 

Dr. Knight: Being a parent is a full time job and did you parse your time to do what was best for your family?

 

Sandra: It is a full time job. You become second and your children become first, but there were times when I was not able to be with my family due to work commitments. I decided not to keep climbing the corporate ladder because I wanted time to be with my children. I wanted to be present with them, joining their activities, games, etc. I declined to accept higher paid and stressful jobs to have more quality time with my family. I also took care of myself and started to practice yoga more than 20 years ago. That was a moment to re-charge my energy. It was a moment to bring myself together to keep bringing back to my family.

 

Dr. Knight: What do you want the readers to understand after reading this interview about being a parent and the responsibility that entails?

 

Sandra: Being a parent is a lifelong experience that changes your life forever. It is an experience that changes over the years as your children grow. It requires a degree of maturity, patience, understanding and lots of love. It is a life commitment. It is a place where you forget a bit about yourself to put your children needs ahead of you. It is the highest expression of giving without expecting anything back.

 

Dr. Knight:  What are some of the challenges of the devotion to be a good Catholic parent in our Church today?

 

Sandra:  We have many challenges. Many distractions set us and our children apart from each other, putting material things first before our families, allocating more time to crazy work schedules and social commitments. Getting involved with activities that don’t give to the family. Spending more time with our computers and phones and listening and talking to our kids.

 

Dr. Knight: What are some of the joys/struggles you’ve experienced as a parent?

 

Sandra : I have seen my kids grow as good human beings. That makes me extremely happy. I see responsible kids trying to do their best at college. I have to say I am extremely happy to have healthy, sport oriented children not interested in drinking or using drugs to fit in the college environment. I feel very happy when I see they go to church from time to time. I feel enormous joy when I see them secure in their values and confident with who they are. I have struggled with accepting their personalities and understanding they are them not me. They are a different version. I have struggled to take times of rest or make stops in this journey to recalibrate myself professionally.  I have struggled with lack of patience.

 

Dr. Knight: As parenting with your husband what are some of the duties that you perform? Did you have your children share in this responsibility?

 

Sandra:  I always carried more responsibility than needed, especially when talking about home chores. I honestly failed to involve my kids in more activities. As teens they have been always responsible for the organization of their bedrooms and later on in life for the cleaning of their own clothes. Right now they collaborate with the cooking activities, dishes, etc. My husband normally had responsibility on the exterior cleaning of the house, etc. they are also responsible for showing home at specific hours, respecting our sleep and resting times.

 

Dr. Knight: Thank you so much for offering us this interview and letting us see the difficulty as well as all the good works that parents inspire the society to be part of so we have a more virtuous society

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